A Handbook about “Cougar Dating

If you are interested in finding an older woman to have a relationship with, there are a few tips when getting started that will help you make the transition a bit easier overall when you begin your dating experience. Here are some points to consider to make the most of your new love interest, making sure that you both reap the benefits in your new partnership together.

Take Time To Connect

Before you meet your cougar in person, it is best to take ample time in corresponding with each other online through email and chat beforehand. Look for a reputable website to connect with cougars rather than try to find someone on your own. On a dating website you will have the options right at your fingertips to find an exact match for your personality and desires. Your cougar will appreciate being matched to someone with similar values and interests. Connection will begin online and then spill over into a real time meeting after you had time to make sure you complement each other appropriately.

Keep Things Under Wraps

There is no need to tell anyone that your date is older than you are. If they ask, just tell them you have a lot in common and let the conversation end. It really is no ones business but yours and your cougar’s. Do not bring up the subject in front of your cougar, as well. She does not need to be reminded about her age and it is best to treat her nicely without age being in the background at all. Age is merely a number, and if you both hit it off, there is no need to display the numbers for anyone to analyze. 

Treat Her Respectfully

When you get together with your new partner, treat her with the same respect you would treat any lady. Open doors for her, tell her how pretty she is, and pay the tab for your first date. It is polite and she will appreciate being treated like a lady. Ask her up front how she wishes for you to address her. Some cougars will ask to be called “Ms” or “Miss” and then their last name. Others are not as strict and will have you call them by their first name. Ask her which she prefers to avoid any sticky situations.

Have Her Make Decisions

While some women enjoy having their partner make the decisions regarding where to go for a date, it is better to ask your cougar what she prefers. Ask her for her input on any thing you decide to do together. This will make her feel important. If she says for you to decide, than make the decision for her. Ultimately though, it is her decision on whether or not to allow you to have this responsibility.

Use Conversation To Your Advantage

Older women prefer having someone to hold intelligent conversations with them. Make it a point to become more in tune with what is going around you with local and world news, sports, politics and entertainment. The more subjects you have information about, the more you will be able to discuss with your cougar. One subject you should brush on with a bit more intent is travel. Many older women are in the position to do quite a bit of traveling, so knowing about different parts of the world will pique her interest. Who knows, maybe some day you will get to visit these areas together!

Hold your End Of The Bargain

If you promise your cougar something, make sure to follow through. Nothing shows a worse sign of immaturity than making up excuses as a reason for not doing something you had promised to do. If you genuinely cannot do something you had said you would, then call her to let her know right away instead of beating around the bush. Your cougar will trust you more if you take the initiative to apologize if you cannot meet a promise. Instead of making promises you cannot keep, let her know you are not sure if you really are not sure. She will understand and respect you for being honest.

Use Some Humor

Your cougar will appreciate if you lighten your mood (as well as hers) by using some appropriate humor during conversation. If you are able to, inject some sarcasm with it as well. This will show you are intelligent in your thinking patterns. Everyone enjoys a good laugh, so why not make your cougar happy by making jokes while playfully flirting with her in the process. Some slight teasing is also a way to put some fun into your dates.

Always Be Yourself

It is not at all pleasing for someone to put up airs and pretend to be someone they truly are not. Do not pretend to be a totally different guy than you really are. Your cougar will be able to see through guises, as she has been with men for several years before you. She knows all the tricks in the book. Pretending to be wealthy, strong, smart, or any combination, will just make you look unattractive. Instead, talk to your cougar without pretending or acting. There is no need for that. Bragging is one of the worst tactics in trying to land yourself a relationship with an older woman.

Have Some Confidence

Confidence is key in having a successful relationship with an older woman. Even though she is older, she will still look to you for security. If you act like a needy person, she will most likely move on to someone who can take care of her. Being confident does not mean to be boastful. At first if she tries to push you away by saying you are too young for her, playfully tell her that she couldn’t handle you anyway. This will put the ball into motion that you are sure of yourself, while doing a little flirting at the same time. There will be sure to be more conversation following, and light banter will lead to dating if you play your cards right. Be confident, without bragging.

Complement Often

Cougars love getting complements on their looks and intelligence. Let her know how much you appreciate both. Whatever you do, do NOT say “You look good for your age”. This will counteract the entire complement by drawing attention to her age. Slip her little notes to tell her how much you enjoy being with her and how beautiful she is. Small acts like this can make a world of difference to your new love interest.

Give Her Space

In the beginning especially, give your cougar some space when dating. She may not want to spend every minute with you and she is used to spending a lot of time alone. Many cougars are very independent and you must treat her as if nothing has changed with that. Allow her to go where she wants, when she wants without questioning her intentions. If she doesn’t text you back right away, do not pester her. Do not be needy. If she is interested, she will come around when she gets to know you and trust you completely.

Be Extremely Loving

An older woman is interested in younger men for passionate reasons. They usually are not looking for someone with money; they would go to an older man for that. Instead they are looking for someone who will make them feel young again. They want to feel like someone is seeking their affections in the same way they used to when they were younger. Giving them what they desire both verbally and physically will keep you in a healthy relationship with an older woman. Speak slowly and look directly into her eyes to make a connection. This will make her realize you mean business.

Dress To Impress

Many men do not bother to try to dress themselves in a way that looks sophisticated, yet casual at the same time. Taking the time to dress appropriately will land you attention. Everyone notices a guy that is impeccably dressed; especially older women. Ditch the t-shirt and jeans for business jackets and slacks. Keep your hair and nails nicely groomed. Wear comfortable, yet higher-end shoes. Make sure to wear a nice-looking watch. Jewelry on a man always gets noticed. If you dress as if you care about your appearance will benefit you when trying to impress your cougar.

Learn To Read Signs

When trying to impress a cougar, watching her actions will give you information on you should proceed. Many older women will be harder to get through to than a younger women. They may be standoffish at first, as they do not want to play games with relationships. If you make advances toward an older woman, and she says she is uninterested, yet she stays there to continue talking, she is giving mixed signals. She secretly does want you to continue your advances, so you should continue to try. If she walks away, she seriously is not interested and you can consider her a lost cause.

Add Some Mystery

Older women love a little bit of mystery. If you can keep her intrigued, you may be able to keep her interested long enough to consider dating. Don’t offer information about yourself unless you are asked. If she does ask, keep answers vague. Look her in the eye when answering and gently touch her hand while in conversation. Don’t waver from the amount of information you offer, however. Your secrets will all come out in due time if the relationship works out. For now, keep her wondering.