To Forgive a Cheat

In this modern age of social media and online dating, it’s easier than ever for people to practice infidelity. In fact there are sites dedicated solely to helping married people have an affair. Given the ease with which people can cheat, it’s easy to see why it occurs so commonly. When a husband or wife cheats, the faithful spouse is left with the difficult decision of whether to stay or leave.

To Stay or Leave

Anyone who has ever been cheated on understands that ending the relationship isn’t as easy as simply walking out of a door. Many times the couple has been together for years and they have a life and family together. In these instances, the children are the real victims, because they suffer when their parents separate. The couple may also own a home together with mortgage payments that are too high for one parent to make alone. However, the decision to stay or leave should never be based solely upon financial ramifications.

Different Types of Cheaters

The act of forgiving a cheater is more complicated than just saying “I forgive You.” Trust is the backbone of a successful relationship, and it’s difficult to continue once it’s been violated. The decision of whether to forgive or not is difficult, because there are actually different types of cheaters. Some people are serial cheaters who have multiple extra-marital affairs at once. These individuals have no intentions on being faithful, and forgiving them will typically lead to more cheating. There’s also the cheater who has a single partner outside of the relationship. This cheater typically cares deeply for the other party, but he or she fears the long-term ramifications of getting a divorce. The last kind of cheater is the person who had a single night of indiscretion, and terribly regrets it. This person will typically admit to having cheated and beg for forgiveness. This may be the easiest situation to forgive, but it’s still very difficult.

Should the Cheater be Forgiven

The person who cheated one time out of momentary weakness should be forgiven, because anyone can make a mistake. It will be extremely difficult and take a lot of time to get past the betrayal, but sheer guilt typically prevents the bad behavior from reoccurring. The secret relationship cheater may be able to cease the bad behavior, but it’s highly unlikely. Many times the cheater has deep feelings for the other party that will eventually lead them to sleep together once more. However, this situation may be remedied after years of counseling. The serial cheater is the only one who should never be given a second chance. This person is determined to live as though he or she is single and forgiving will only lead to more cheating. In fact, the unfaithful party probably had numerous affairs before getting caught. Staying with this person only encourages the bad behavior which will gradually become more blatant.

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