The whole idea behind the “friends with benefits” suggestion is that the two people involved remain just friends, but while they are participating in sexual favors with one another. Sex is a basic instinct for an animal, not to mention the human, because, essentially, this is what we human creatures are; animals to our very core. The only difference between animals and the homogenous species is the feeling of guilt. Think about that for a minute. Animals of all types have what is known by us humans as “casual sex” with their own species all the time, every day. Why should the human species be any different than our animal ancestors? Though this scenario is quite easy to understand and, therefore, implement in our own lives, there is still that singular, humanized feeling of guilt that must be dealt with if not totally eradicated.
Animal or Human
We are, after all, human animals and we have unique feelings and thoughts that are different than our “other” animal cousins. In order to properly deal with this difference, rules must be put in place and agreed upon by both participants before they start up their casual “meetings.” Setting these “friends with benefits” rules and guidelines will hopefully save your friendship if things go sour after having sex with one another.
To some people who may be really good friends and whom have been so for a long time, if having sex together turns into something traumatic or relationship changing, this can be considered a friendship emergency. Though there are plenty of friends with benefits who are very close while still able to have entirely casual and noncommittal sex, this scenario must be gradually worked up to, involving a lot of self discipline. That being said, this difficult type of self discipline requires a sort of feeling suppression.
Setting the Rules
Some specific “friends with benefits” rules could be to consider the simple act of sexual role-playing. In order to trick your brain into not sexually responding to the face of your friend when meeting them in the hallway at work, consider suggesting that both you and your friend dress up before your meetings into something that will both turn you both on sexually while also somewhat concealing your faces from being seen during sex.
Another rule could be for you both to never kiss each other on the lips while going at it or even during foreplay. Kissing is a very intimate thing shared between two people who truly love or care deeply for each other and could really confuse and mess up even the strongest of friendships. Little love notes should be completely off the table, as well, as this gesture can easily be interpreted as sweet and loving to the recipient. Lastly, never call your “meetings” dates. People who go on “dates” are looking for a relationship with another person, no matter if they say they are just looking to score.
Steve Anderson, founder of Fuck buddy, is committed to guiding his readers through the ups and downs of finding and leaving love. As an author and expert in the field of dating she aspires to create content that is tailor-made for the modern dating world.
Growing up, Steve observed his parents’ grow in love and commitment with every year they were married. But, following a series of tough break-ups, Steve discovered that finding true love wasn’t as easy as he had thought. he then decided to pursue a career as a dating coach. Through his educational and life experience he learned that each situation requires a personalized approach, dependent on the values and desires of each of his clients. Since then he has become a sought-after expert on the nature of the dating game and how to win at it!