Listen to Understand – Communication for a Long Lasting Relationship

Communication is one of the most vital elements in any successful relationship. However, few people understand that communication is not simply about expressing oneself clearly. In fact, it is just as important to listen carefully to what the other person is saying, as it is to speak. Effective listening is not about waiting eagerly so you can reply. It takes skills and is affected for the purpose of letting the other person know that he or she matters, that what that person has to say is important to you.

One of the major problems in relationships is miscommunication. When messages are not conveyed clearly, chances increase for misunderstandings to occur. The responsibility does not lie only with the speaker. It is up to the person being addressed to listen carefully and to ask questions for clarification. This not only helps avoid mistaken information. It also helps to validate the person that is speaking.

Being a good listener helps strengthen the relationship in numerous ways. It goes far beyond merely hearing. Hearing is just about noise. Listening, on the other hand, requires true focus, and this takes practice. Thorough listening also requires restraint from interruptions. Within every conversation, there are pauses and other clear signals that make it appropriate for the other person to reply. However, one must be a skilled listener to be able to recognize these signals and to understand how important it is to refrain from interjecting before the speaker has the opportunity to complete a thought.

Listening to your romantic partner goes beyond just hearing what he or she has to say. It also entails listening to the words that are not spoken. It involves careful observation. Are her eyes filling with tears as she speaks? Are his hands clinched? There are many non-verbal messages that cannot be picked up unless someone truly focuses on the person speaking and listens with his or her whole heart.

Being a good listener shows the speaker that he or she is respected. It is a powerful and basic way to connect with a romantic partner and to nourish intimacy beyond sexual intimacy. One of the most important things that a couple can give to itself is attention, and listening does that like nothing else can. When listening to one’s significant other, one should try to relax and focus on the speaker. Avoid unnecessary distractions. Create the time and space to be a good listener.

It brings people closer to know that each is recognized as an individual. Even if you do not agree with what your partner is saying, attempt to put yourself in his or her shoes. Learn to empathize to the point that you can fully understand that person’s position. Note his or her tone and attempt to respond accordingly. Let him or her know that you really care by taking time out to acknowledge his or her point of view. This will help the relationship last much longer.

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