Have Some Interests In Common, But Not All

Having common interests with the person you are dating makes you compatible, but having interests of your own makes you interesting. It’s good to share some common ground because each of you can relate to the same activities and share the fun, as well as being the base you can use to start your relationship. As you get more involved with the person, it is a way to have them know you have your own ideas and hobbies. There’s nothing more boring than a person who has no outside interests.

Being your own person is not only mentally healthy for you, but the person you are dating as well. It gives them a chance to admire your independence and your willingness to take part in things that are yours alone. Show them that you have the willingness to pursue your own interests and that you routinely attend meetings, go on trips, visit friends of yours, etc. Don’t be the type of person who just sits around waiting for the other person to plan everything you are going to do. After awhile, that gets tiring, and the other person will probably get tired of doing it.

In many flawed relationships, the couple is almost “too” together, each having few interests of their own. Over time, it becomes boring to do the same thing, at the same time, in the same way, etc. With your own interests, it gives you time to grow as a person and pursue the things you love, making you more rounded. The dating partner can only see this as a positive sign, that you are not the “clingy” type. Showing the other person that have your own ideas and not having to resort to answering the question, “What do you want to do today?” with the standard, overused and dry, “I don’t care – whatever you want to do.” That’s the “dishrag” type of response. The other person probably isn’t going to be overwhelmed with that answer, either.

So try to keep it fresh by being your own person, yet keeping some room in there for the person you are dating. Make it a two-way street, doing things together that you both enjoy and doing things on your own that make you happy. The relationship can only flourish with each of you being together – yet separate.

A relationship is only as good as what the people involved put into it. Keep the communication open between you, have your own interests and treat the one you are dating with consideration. Let the other person know they are important to you, but don’t lose your own identity in the process.

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